Child Scaring and its Consequences

 Written by: Samira Haleemzai

Almost all parents wish that their children will have a good character in the future, so they try hard to raise and educate them well. But a number of parents ignore some important issues in their children’s life by behaving inappropriately with their children; one of them is scaring children. AEPO’s writer/producer has talked to some people about this issue.

Wahidullah, a resident of Chek district of Maidan-Wardak province says, “My mother was always scaring me. Once I was playing at home. He told me that if I make noise, a giantess will come and eat me.

I think that the giantess is behind me and she will really eat me. So I fell on the ground and broke my head."
Kawsar, a resident of Kabul city says, “I was often scared at home by things that didn't really exist. Once I wanted to get water from the fridge, as soon as I got close to the fridge, my brother scared me by screaming.From then on, I was afraid; I could not even go to the next room to study my school lessons.”

Muhammad Zaher Shams, professor of psychologty says, “Children who are frightened lose their good thinking and the power of innovation. After that he is afraid of everything. They lose their self-confidence; brought up to be fearful, low-spirited children. They lose their eloquence,    and this even affects their studies.”

Why some parents scare their children?

Muhammad Omar, a resident of Kapisa province says, “When a child acts against the wishes of the family or does not accept the family, the parents scare the child from witch and says that if he/she doesn’t accept, the witch will come and eat him/her.”

A mother from Kabul city says, “Some mothers want to get rid of their children's crying, they scare their children so that they will not cry. There are some other mothers who scare their children to go to bed earlier. Most families are not aware of the bad consequences of scaring children and they frighten their children.”
Professor Shams says, “Most mother do not realize their children’s conditions.

They do not know whether their child is sick or suffer from a pain. The easiest way to get rid of the baby crying ia frightening children from evils, witches and even darkness. The child hides his/her pain and doesn’t cry. It is the nature of the human mind that everything seems moving in the dark, which is why children are afraid of the dark.”

How do some parents find solutions to this issue?

Sabiha, a resident of Kabul city says, “I the mother of two children. I try not to scare them. Whenever any of them wants not sleep on time, I try to convince them by telling him/her that night is for rest and sleep and if he/she does not go to sleep at night, he/she will suffer from headaches and will not be able to go to school. Sometimes I tell them story and they go to sleep.”

Manizha Zamani, a resident of Balkh province says, “I the mother of three children. One of daughters was afraid to go alone to a room in night. I convinced her that there is nothing in the dark room but it’s our fear that we are afraid in the dark. I sent her alone to a dark and when she came back, I asked her what she saw. She replied that there was nothing in the room.”

Professor Shams says, “Parents should familiarize themselves with the scientific method of raising children. Understand the conditions and wishes of the child. If they are sick, find their pain and treat them. They should show them the objects in the dark and then should turn on the light and tell them that it’s the same chair they sit on in the morning, but they look different in the dark. If a child afraid of cat, the parents should tell them that this is our pet that lives together with us.”