Child Scaring

 Written by: Awesta Fazli

Despite the positive aspects of a healthy dose of fear in childhood, using it as a disciplinary measure isn't very useful. Some parents try to scare children but it is not a very effective way to control children's behavior and might lead children to the wrong way.

AEPO’s writer/producer has talked to some children, parents and psychologists about this issue.

Ahmad Zia, a resident of Qarabagh district, Kabul province says, “One day when I came home from the shop, my uncle’s wife was hidden behind the gate and she scared me. It badly affected me and now when I want to study my school lessons, I remember that scene and could not concentrate on my lessons.”

Zahra, a resident of Konar province says, “I was eight years old and I was going to a learning course. When I reached the course, the watchman of the course scared me and was unconscious and laid on the ground. When I opened my eyes, it was evening and went back home. Due to that event, I left the course and school too and I still get scared while sleeping.”

A psychologist, Muhammad Ameen Isfandyar says, “scaring is a psychological problem and when someone scares a child, the child might face some psychological problems in the future. A scared child would grow with fear and he/she might lose his/her courage; he/she would suffer from depression; could not be compatible with the environment and this fear would block the way of his/her psychological and social progress.”

What do some people think about the causes of child scaring?

Muhammad Ameen, a resident of Nangarhar province says, “My father scared me and prevented me not to go out of home and nor go with my friends. I was always alone at home and now I am a young boy but I don’t have any friends and I go alone to learning course.”

Zahra says, “Fear badly affected my life. I cannot well study my school lessons. When a teacher wanted me to explain the lesson, I was not able to stand in front of my classmates to explain the lesson. Now I am 15 years old but I still have fear.”

Zuhra Walid Rahmani, a psychologist says, “Scaring children by parents causes psychological problems for children. They might cut their nails with their teeth; they might grow nervous; would face enuresis; would lose their ability to learn school lessons and they could not make a decision.”

Some parents do not scare their children.

A woman who doesn’t want to mention her name in the program, says, “I don’t scare my children because they would grow cowardly and he/she would not learn his/her school lessons. My children are very brave and intelligent.  Sometimes one of my sons scares my small daughter. He throws a string toward his sister and says that it’s a snake. My little daughter cries. I prevent my son not to scare his sister and I assure my daughter that it is a string, not a snake.”

Benazir, a resident of Kabul city says, “If we frighten our children, they will grow with fear and they would feel themselves alone in the community. If they learn the lessons, and if the teacher asks them to explain a lesson, they would not dare to explain it.”

Zuhra Walid says, “Parents should not scare their children because this issue would cause children some psychological problems. If the children play inside the living room, or in the yard, parents should assure them that making noise is not a good habit. They should be taught to arrange the room after playing.”