Insulting Children

 Written by: Mir Aqa Etebar

There are one or more children living in each family. sometimes they quarrel with each other and it causes their parents to insult them.

Using unpleasant words to children might badly affect them.

AEPO’s writer/producer has talked to some children, their parents and a psychologist about this issue.

Abdul Aleem, a resident of Qarabagh district, Kabul province says: “I have two children. When they quarrel with each other or do not accept what I say, I curse them and I always use bad words to them. One day, when I cursed one of them, he said to me that whenever I use unfair words to him, it is as I am using the same words to myself.”

 Shukria Rahmani, a resident of Jalalabad city, Nangarhar province says: “whenever I was doing an unpleasant thing, my mother was always insulting me by using bad words. When my small sister or brother was not accepting what I said or they were quarreling with each other, I was using the same words that I had learned from my mother.”

A psychologist, Professor Haqyar says: “cursing and using unpleasant words to the children have a bad effect on their psyche. Children and youths learn from their parents, and when they fight at home or out of the house, and if even they deal with a small issue, they might use the same words against others and it might cause a conflict in the family or in the society, and the family system might be badly affected.”

How could parents prevent cursing their children?

A father, Muhammad Tariq says: “I have never used unfair words to my children because using unfair words to children might badly effect on them. If I curse them today, they might curse me some other day.”

A boy, Amad Khalid says: “when we do an unfair thing, my father encourage us to stop negative behaviors, make positive choices and ultimately become a better person and he never uses unfair words to us.”

A father, Muhammad Zaman says: “I have 7 children and I know that curse and using unfair words are prohibited in Islam. When I become angry with my children, I try to solve the issue with a smile and using good words and I ask them not to do an unfair thing anymore.”

Professor Haqyar says: “learning how to treat the children is not limited to the school or university. Parents should also learn from books, radio, television and the people who have good behavior with their children or when a father/mother lose his/her control, he/she should avoid using unfair words to their children by changing their place or leaving the house for a while. If parents have good behavior with their children and adolescents, they might have a good sense of comfort in their families and they would never use bad words to others and all people would show more sympathy to such children and youths.”