Eid Gifts for Bride

Written by: Mir Aqa Etibar

Taking Eid gifts to the Fiancé’s house is a tradition among Afghans. The groom's family takes the amount of fruit, clothes, and jewelry as gifts to the fiancée’s family, but sometimes such customs become unhealthy competition and cause problems between families.

AEPO’s writer/producer has talked to some people about this issue.

Muqadas Munir says, “My two cousins were engaged. The fiancé of my one cousin was from a rich family and the other was from a poor family. The fiancé of the rich family was giving the most expensive gifts to her fiancée including gold and diamond jewelry but the poor fiancé was not able to prepare Eid’s gifts for her fiancée.

Maryam says, “My cousin (son of uncle) is engaged to a girl. My cousin's family took some Eid gifts to my cousin’s fiancée but my brother’s father-in-law had scattered all the gifts on the ground and had told my cousin’s family that they had more relatives but the gifts are counted as nothing. They have not married yet and I am afraid that what will happen in the future.”

What do some people think about the causes of this unhealthy competition between families?

Murtaza says, “Eid’s gifts to bride’s family are our tradition but now it’s changed to competition among families. One family wants to bring more gifts and the other wants more than that.”

Maryam says, “Most girls don’t want more Eid gifts but they cannot express their opinions to their families. If any of them prevents more gifts, the girl’s father, uncle or brother might say that they would prepare a simple Nikah (marriage contract) ceremony with a glass of water.”

How do some families find a solution to this issue?

Razia Muhammadi says, “When I got engaged to a boy, my cousin also got engaged at the same time. My cousin's fiancé was from a rich family and my fiancée was from a middle-class family.

My cousin’s fiancé was bringing more gifts to his fiancé but as my fiancé was from a low-class family, he was bringing gifts according to his income and this issue was bothering me.

My mother advised me to not be sad and she told me that my future might be better than others. Now I pass a comfortable life with my husband and my father-in-law’s family has good manners with me.”

Maryam says, “When my sister got engaged, my mother had talked to my sister’s fiancé’s family about the dowry and other special days’ gifts. She had prevented them from bringing such a gift and paying dowry. After the marriage, they have a good life.”