Talking and Comments

Written by: Samira Haleemzai

Afghanistan is a patriarchal society where all the major institutions are controlled by men and women are not asked to take part in big decisions and even some families do not let women talk about such decisions. Sometimes this issue creates some problems.

AEPO’s writer/producer has talked to some people about this issue.

A girl, a resident of Kabul city says, “My father doesn’t pay attention to women's opinions on household chores. He does not allow us to talk in his presence at home. We are not allowed to buy or select clothes for us but he pays attention to my small brother’s opinion. Sometimes I quarrel with my brother that why my father accepts my brother’s opinion and rejects what I say.”

Firozan, a resident of Maidan-Wardak province says, “Once my father was purchasing a car. I suggested to him the color of the car but he said that girls do not know about such issues but he accepts what my brother says to him. Sometimes I wish that I had not been born.”

Then the producer has talked to a psychiatrist, Abdul Jalil Amirkhel.

Amirkhel says, “When women and girls in a family are not consulted and the man of the family doesn’t pay attention to their opinions, their minor sadness might accumulate and would cause them depression. These women might lose their self-confidence and courage. If these girls go to school, they would not able to ask the teacher any question about the daily lessons. They might talk to their classmates they would be happy in isolation and they would never listen to what their parents say to them.”

What do people think about the causes of this issue?

Sharifullah, a resident of Qarabagh district, Kabul province says, “Some men think that women are imperfect and they are not able to decide or give a good comment and some women are under the pressure of the elder of their families, and they think if they have a good opinion too, but the men of the family would not listen to her.”

Muhammad Daud, a resident of Shakardara district, Kabul province says, “Some men of the family think that hearing the comments of the women are shameful for them.”

How some people solve this issue?

Sharifullah says, “I married and I communicate with my wife and my sisters about the important issues of my family. I had some money at home and I wanted to open a medical store. I shared the issue with my wife. She suggested I to deposit some money in a bank and I saved a small amount of the money in a bank and now I pay the rent of the medical store from the benefit of the bank account.”

Hadia, a resident of Ghazni province says, “We live in a rental house. Once my father decided to rent another house. I said to my father that there is no girls’ school near the new house. He accepted my idea.”