Right of Choosing Spouse

 Written by: Mir Aqa Etibar

In most countries, parents consider the agreement of their daughters and sons as the first step before their engagement that their marriage should not be by force and give them the right to choose their spouses. But in Afghanistan, some girls claim that they are forced to marry according to their parents' wish and they have no right to choose their spouses.

AEPO’s writer/producer has talked to some people about this issue.

A boy who doesn’t want to mention his name in the program, says, “My parents always wanted me to get married but I was denying because I loved a girl whose elder sister was not married and I had to wait. Finally, my parents forced me to accept their wish to marry a girl that I had not seen her before and due to not having mutual understanding, we separated from each other after two years.”

Naseema Arian, a resident of Bamiyan province says, “One of our relatives forced her daughter to marry an illiterate boy and they became the parents of two children. Later the boy got addicted to heroin and they separated from each other. Now the girl lives in his father’s family.”

Why some parents do not consider the happiness of their children?

Ilham Khairkhwa, a resident of Herat province says, “I think the main cause of forced marriage is the illiteracy of the parents or they might like to marry their daughter to a rich person.”

Naseema Arian says, “In my opinion, wealth is the main cause that parents do not ask their daughters when they engage them. They want their daughters to get married in a wealthy family so that they might not be in need in their future life.”

How do people could find a solution to this issue?

Ahmad Shikeb, a resident Qalae Safid village, Chaharasiab district, Kabul province says, “I am not engaged yet but I have decided to choose a girl myself as my spouse and I would also have my parents' agreement too.”

Shahgul, a resident of Qarabagh district, Kabul province says, “I did not have enough information about the boy when they proposed me but my uncle knew them.

My father assigned my uncle to collect information about the boy and his family. My uncle told me that the boy could not read and write and he is a craftsman and he added that the boy is not addicted to smoke and drink. My father wanted my uncle to take the boy to our home. When the boy came, I liked his characteristics and I accepted him as my spouse. Now we have a peaceful life.”